24 Reasons Why Ana Lucia Should Be Eaten By A Polar Bear

Good Bye

2006-05-04T10:16:00.000-04:00

I never have to see her again! Even though it makes my Blog redundant, I am cheered. All right, no Polar Bear but they must have listened to me. The power of the web is truly amazing.

In my own little world I take full responsibility for this. I did it!

All kudos, accolades, presents, tributes and cash greatly accepted.

Can I Still Hate Her If She Is Insane?

2006-04-27T10:29:00.000-04:00

I say yes. Bring on the bears.

http://starbulletin.com/2006/04/26/news/story01.html

Reason 24 - Slantiness

2006-04-08T05:33:00.000-04:00

I don't have great posture myself, I tend to hunch my shoulders and slouch but at least I am level. Ana Lucia, seems to be slanted. If she had one leg shorter than the other, I wouldn't be bothered but her slantiness seems to shift from side to side. Didn't they teach her to stand up straight in Cop School? I think she probably failed 'Standing At Attention 101'.

Reason 23 - Panting

2006-03-31T15:06:00.000-05:00

A few posts back I said I would kill to have her body. I take that back now. Why hnnnnh does she hnnnnh have hnnnnh to hnnnnnh take a hnnnnh breath hnnnnnh after hnnnnnh every hnnnnh word? She sounds like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle. Maybe they should get her Locke's wheelchair.

Reason 22 - Bare Faced Cheek

2006-03-26T07:59:00.000-05:00

"Hi, less than a week ago I killed the love of your life, want to run off on a fool's errand with me?" OK - I have issues with Sayid for going but man she is cheeky.

I Am Sawyer!

2006-03-24T04:43:00.000-05:00

Who are you?

Lost Character Quiz

Reason 21 - I SAID REE-SOHN TWEN-TEE WUN

2006-03-17T07:18:00.000-05:00

I must admit that I lifted this one from Television Without Pity but it is too funny. Here is their take on the scene where Jin goes fishing with Bernard and Ana-Lucia.

"Jin shakes his head, says something in Korean. Ana-Lucia does that loud, over-enunciation thing you do when you're an asshole and you're talking to someone you think is stupid because they don't speak English: "Does it look like I speak Korean?" she yells. No, but you're clearly fluent in Ugly American. Jin casts his net upon the waters and draws it in, filled with some sort of red fish. "Fish," he says pointedly at Ana-Lucia, who is now all smiles. Bernard could stand to look a little more impressed, though. "

Reason 20 - She's A Bully

2006-03-14T07:42:00.000-05:00

Have been trolling through past episodes looking for more reasons to dislike her and came up with this one;

Not too long after the time she hit Sawyer on the head with a rock (what a bitch) she slapped him and then stomped on his bullet wound havin' shoulder. If that is not a bully tactic what is?

Pick on someone of your own health why doncha?

I Still Don't Like Her

2006-03-07T10:45:00.000-05:00

I haven't gone away. I am still here and I still don't like Ana Lucia but I find myself in the strange position of wanting her to be in the show more so I have some more reasons to post.

I could just make Reason 20 - Because I Don't Like Her but that really isn't fair.

At the risk of offending some fans, I am beginning to think a Polar Bear might need to be lined up for Jack. He has really gotten on board with Reason 9 - The God Complex.

Reason 19 - You're S.W.A.T. or You're Not

2006-02-20T05:06:00.000-05:00

She's not. If Samuel L was leading the tailees, they would have kicked The Others mutha%^$£&** asses from one %^$£"$%^ end of the %^$£"!^ island to the other. If Colin was in charge they may have lost the same amount of people but all the girls would have gone out happy and the guys would have a new drinking buddy. If LL had been in charge, we would have gotten to see some fantastic abs. Even turncoat Josh managed to not kill any of his own people.

Damn

2006-02-13T12:32:00.000-05:00

Looks like the poor Polar Bears may go hungry;

http://www.scifi.com/scifiwire/index.php?category=0&id=34582&type=0

http://www.tvsquad.com/2006/02/10/lost-lindeloff-puts-ana-lucia-rumors-to-rest/

Reason 18 - Condescending Bitch

2006-02-12T08:04:00.000-05:00

"They aren't scared enough". Well the surest way to ensure everyone is scared out of their wits is to give her a gun and put her in charge. Let's review her track record - 14 people from the tail survive the crash, she gets put in charge and 4 survive. Hmmmmmm. I think I'd take my chances on the beach. Especially since there is a new sheriff in town.

I Hope They Use A Polar Bear

2006-02-08T10:03:00.000-05:00

Has it worked, are they listening to me? But what will I write about if they kill her off?

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=84963

http://www.moviehole.net/news/20060206_rodriguez_being_kicked_off_los.html

Now I Think I Hate The Writers

2006-01-27T13:05:00.000-05:00

Wow - 3 weeks in a row with minimal Ana Lucia. Do you think the writers are listening to me? I do.

I realize that I have been remiss in updating the site but I have spent the last week recovering from a massive blow. I am strong enough to admit that it was self inflicted but it was a blow none the less. All through last weeks episode, I had this lovely feeling that I had succeeded in my mission - I had made the writers listen. I got really excited that for the second week in a row there seemed to be no Ana Lucia. I began to think that maybe they had the polar bear picked out, had it in a cage and were starving it while once a day throwing in a piece of her clothing to get it used to her scent. But unfortunately at the end of the episode there she was - all in one piece. I was so depressed. I couldn't even rant about that facial expression that I assume was supposed to be a smile but actually just made her look like she was about to throw up.

This week I didn't let my self get excited at the lack of her - why are they playing these games with me?

Reason 17 - Rude Rude Rude

2006-01-12T14:01:00.000-05:00

The writers tried to trick me this week by only showing her once but they did not succeed, she still pissed me off. If someone comes over to say hello to you while you are sitting on the beach - wouldn't you stand up. Isn't that just polite? She did this weird open mouth smiley thing and did shake hands but still - I just don't like her.

And - what was up with Sawyer's 'haircut'? Someone had better send Kate to fake hairedressing school again.

Reason 16 - Don't Think She Would Have Made Detective

2006-01-07T15:16:00.000-05:00

Why did it take the great policewoman 27 days (one death and the loss of all the kids) to figure out that Goodwin ran out of the jungle and not into it? Admittedly, no one else clued into this but then they are not trained as keen observers are they?

Reason 15 - Pure Unadulterated Jealousy

2006-01-04T12:28:00.000-05:00

If she has a thing with Jack, I think my head might explode. The neighbours are already complaining about all the screaming at the TV on Wednesdat nights and my roommate is thinking about having me committed. I don't even want to consider the consequences of a Jack, Ana Lucia and a few too many tequila and tonics. Ick!

Reason 14 - She Made Sayid Cry

2005-12-30T16:35:00.000-05:00

I don't like to see any of my boys cry.

As you can tell, I am eagerly awaiting the return of Lost in as my reasons are getting pretty thin!

Reason 13 - That Squishy Faced Head Tilt Thing

2005-12-28T09:38:00.000-05:00

Is that the same thing as the snarl? I vote no. It is equally annoying though. I believe it is meant to convey a general 'Don't mess with me as I will cut (or shoot) you' attitude but in my mind it only conveys a 'Get Jinn to catch you one of those sea urchin things as you need more protein' attitude.

Reason 12 - Moral Cowardice

2005-12-21T11:03:00.000-05:00

So far we have seen Ana Lucia kill the guy who shot her, Goodwin and Shannon (and I still assign Nathan's death to her). She is starting to border on serial killer territory here - can you say Rage-aholic?. But she is in good company as;

Jack killed the Air Marshall
Sawyer killed the Shrimp Guy (and one of the Polar Bears that could have eaten her)
Charlie killed Ethan
Kate killed her Daddy
Locke killed Boone (sort of)
Walt killed that bird
Who knows how many people Sayid has killed
Hurley's cursed numbers killed his Grampa

Hey, she should fit right in with this merry band of murderers we love so much. But really, good manners dictate that she should have attended Shannon's funeral. Locke sucked it up, Jack buried the Air Marshall.

Reason 11 - That Body

2005-12-16T05:54:00.000-05:00

Even if I spent 60 days on that island eating only palm fronds and running away from polar bears, others and invisible monsters, I still wouldn't have a kick ass body like her. Grrrrr, not fair.

Reason 10 - The Leather Vest

2005-12-14T09:08:00.000-05:00

I admit that I am attached to some of my clothes. I have a favourite stripey sweater but if I crash landed on an island in the South Pacific, I wouldn't unravel the sleeves and wear it through the jungle!

Reason 9 - The God Complex

2005-12-12T05:04:00.000-05:00

'Who kept you alive all this time Bernard?' Well, maybe Mr.Eko. Food may have played a part. How about the fact that the only one 'the others' were interested in was Mr. Eko? Ummmmmmmmm - lots of things - not just you, bitch.

Reason 8 - Blue Crush

2005-12-09T04:36:00.000-05:00

I wanted to drown her! Snarl, snarl, snarl - it's for your own good. I want to see a woman on the cover of a surfing magazine. Snarl, snarl, snarl - I want to have sex with you, what are you doing with that sexy quarterback when you can have me the attitude filled bitch? Snarl, snarl, snarl - you can do it. Win the Pipeline Masters for us. Snarl, snarl.

Reason 7 - Can You Say 'Unstable'?

2005-12-07T14:26:00.000-05:00

I sure hope Jack has a big ol' pile of mood stabilizers in the medicine chest. Do they really need an unbalanced, trigger happy, psycho with a God complex? With the whole doomsday button thing? They already beat each other up enough as it is.

Reason 6 - She Tied Up Sayid

2005-12-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

If anyone gets to do that, it should be me. She really is taking liberties.

Reason 5 - She Got Nathan Killed

2005-12-02T06:52:00.000-05:00

What is it with the getting people killed thing? I am sure glad she doesn't live near me. Now, we didn't get to know Nathan very well, but we liked him on Ed. We didn't get to give him a chance. He may have added something to the group.

Reason 4 - That Snarl

2005-12-01T05:34:00.000-05:00

As Sayid didn't slap it off her face, I just might have to. I haven't quite figured out how to find the island but with motivation like this, I am sure I can do it.

Reason 3 - Who Drinks Tequila and Tonic Anyway?

2005-11-29T14:17:00.000-05:00

Yuck.

Reason 2 - She Hit Sawyer On The Head With A Rock

2005-11-28T17:51:00.000-05:00

I have already admitted that I didn't like Sawyer at first. The whole misunderstood bad boy with a heart of gold underneath thing was actually quite annoying but he has grown on me. I still wouldn't go near him without insisting he have a shower, shave and haircut though!

Reason 1 - She Killed Shannon

2005-11-26T13:32:00.000-05:00

I was beginning to like Shannon. She was taking proper care of the dog, worrying about Walt and generally contributing to the group. But I have to admit that is not the real reason. Killing Shannon upset Sayid. No one messes with my Sayid. I really wanted him to rip Ana Lucia a new one - at least give her a black eye or something. I was very disappointed when he didn't.

I Hate Ana Lucia

2005-11-26T13:25:00.000-05:00

I realise I am a bit behind with this but I thought I would give Ana Lucia a chance. Maybe she would grow on me. Actually, I didn't like Sawyer at first. But it hasn't worked. I dislike her more with every episode. I want her off that island - she just has to go. Now it is time for me to vent my spleen.

Over the rest of the season, I will be publishing my list of '100 Reasons Why Ana Lucia Should Be Eaten By A Polar Bear'. Comments and opposing points of view are welcome but I must warn you that I really won't be taking opposing points of view too seriously.